Stretch Your Comfort Zone (not your waistband)

This blog post is inspired by comments shared in response to my last post.  Some of those comments were shared publicly and others personally.  For those of you who did respond, please know I dearly appreciate and value you. 

Thank you for your honesty and thank you for recognizing and appreciating my honesty.  I have not given up but I did need to refocus a little bit.  Your words were so encouraging.  Life is so much better when we can join together like this and talk to each other about our achievements and our struggles because we ALL have them!  Everyone is blessed and EVERYONE has difficulties and obstacles.  I heard someone say the other day that if you leave your comfort zone, God will do some creative things with your life.  I believe much of this journey for me is about leaving my comfort zone.  So when I was working so hard, balls to the walls I would actually say, stretching many of my comfort zones, and not seeing the change I expected, discouragement crept in.  However, when I worked out Friday, I realized that I was doing things that I know I could not have done a few months ago and even though I was dog tired in the end, I felt strong!  I don't want to give that up!  This is going to be a continual learning curve and nothing is going to happen overnight.  I'm continually exploring new foods, new restaurants, new places to shop, new exercises, and I just need to live and breathe in this time and not get caught up by the scale. Ultimately, the end game is being healthier and feeling empowered.

For me, this is not only something I'm working out but something that has to work.  This is why I'm not "dieting" or trying some quick fix plan.  While I might miss a few of the decadent treats that I overindulged in before, I am certainly not depriving myself.  I eat plenty.  I eat real food.  I'm within my healthy calorie range and learning about foods that are not only important for weight loss but for the heart, mind and skin.  I'm embracing exercise and my body in a way I never have before.  And, in the spirit of finding freedom, I'm also not going to live in bondage to too many rules.  It's all about smart choices and being informed but not being obsessive.  I know what both sides of this line are like, being too free with food and being to obsessive, and I can honestly say balance is so important.  Being prone to OCD, it is not healthy for me to worry or hyperfocus on all the numbers.  My phone applications and favorite websites definitely help me stay focused and armed with information.  Most of all, in order to keep working this out, I need to stay real.  I must have people I can be open and honest with because life is hard. 

I don't know if any of you have seen the t-shirts or bumper stickers that say, "I may be fat but you're ugly and I can lose weight"  but I remember seeing this on a buxom Floridian beauty one time and it cracked me up!  Fierce and snarky.  I think there are those, big and small, who are also ugly on the INSIDE and because of this I am motivated to talk openly about my quest.  No one is better than anyone else and I won't let anyone have that power over me.  I want to be a strong, real, woman.  None of us are perfect; herein lies our beauty.  Thanks for letting me complain and thanks for picking me up.  I'm working it out and working hard again!

"Glory is not in never failing but in rising every time we fail." -Anonymous

p.s.- stocked up on blueberries, kiwi, pineapple, yogurt, and all my fave skinny chick treats!

My Kick-Ass is Half-Assed!

I’m stagnant.  I’m losing steam.  I need rejuvenation.  I need a kick in the ass.  I’m half-assing it. 

The past two weeks have been rough.  I’m not even going to lie.  I’m still eating much better than I did before this journey began.  I’m still working out.  However, this maintaining weight or dropping .6 pounds here and there has crept into my psyche.  On one hand, I feel empowered by working out and testing my strength; I’m doing planks, lifting weights, walking briskly, incorporating several types of crunches, and so on.  In the spirit of singing my strengths, I ate something the other day that I knew I shouldn’t have so I worked out on my own even though I did not want to.  Lunch each day is a lean meal, yogurt and blueberries or a Luna bar, fruit and yogurt.  One of my good friends encourages me by keeping me updated with healthy foods to try and we’ve even shopped together.  There have been no late night cheesecake runs, although, I saw some crazy good desserts at a nearby restaurant table the other day and I’m pretty sure I gave them the stink eye.    

Here’s the bad news my bears, the boundaries are slipping a bit and the enthusiasm is waning.  When it comes to writing down my food each day and logging my calories, I’ve been slacking.  My pretty pink water bottle has not left the shelf for five days.  Yes, the horror.  I’m telling all!  Yesterday, I indulged in some trail mix, which I did not even enjoy before, and I ate twice the amount I should have in record time.  I hate to be trite but the honeymoon is moving toward an end and I need to keep the romance alive.  I think I need to vent first and then somehow get my fire back.  Here’s my venting.  Forgive me.

1.      * My existence before this was pretty sedentary.  No pain no gain?  Where is MY gain (loss)??

2.       *I think any weight I have lost has come off in my fingers, toes, ankles, wrists, and maybe my boobs.  I don’t mind having big boobs and my fingers are already a size 6.5.  Seriously, what about the belly?  The arm flab? If I cut my hair short again will my face at least look thinner?

3.       *When some people try to be encouraging, they basically say the Christian equivalent of “Let go and let God!”  Yeah…. Right…  I’m taking up boxing people, I might just hit you!

4.        *Why do some people, I’m thinking of skinnier people and men in particular, seem to lose weight faster?  It’s like the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.  Twisted. 

5.       *Is there truly a benefit to all this working out?  I know people who do not exercise and still lose more weight. 

6.       *I said this journey was about getting healthier so how else do I measure health?  How do I keep from getting discouraged if the scale is not moving forward fast enough? 

7.       *Having PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) bites.  I know it does in fact make things more difficult for me but it will not be my excuse.  I’m back of glucophage so hopefully this will start helping.

8.       *People in workout videos smile way too freaking much.  Annoying.  And now it’s almost time for runners to start creeping out onto the streets.  Great. 

Wow, this is feeling good.  Maybe I should stop and save some for later.  Obviously, I am trying to keep it real.  I need help from anyone that can help.  I need motivation or something.  I do NOT want to quit.  I will not give up so I’m writing this to let everyone know that I need some juice!!!  Power me.  Empower me.  Give me a battery.  Something.  Check my attitude.  Give me an attitude check.