I'll admit, I was a little worried this blog might not exist anymore after being ignored for so long. I didn't even know if my fingers could find it at this point. Thankfully, after some encouraging words from a friend, I took a chance and luckily, I'm here and the blog is here. Hopefully, you will be here to read this and support me!
About two and half months ago I got pneumonia and following the pneumonia my asthma flared up fiercely. My immune system was low, my lungs were tight, and I was constantly fatigued. I spent most of nights sleeping in the chair sounding like I was grinding coffee with each breath. I won't include all the particulars, but let's just say I spent at least two days a week popping into my doctor's office for checkups of some kind or the other. Between fighting all the sickness "junk" as I began to call it and just trying to survive the work days, I lost my game. The careful grocery shopping, writing down everything I ate, exercising, and hardcore attitude went right out the window with the Ohio sunshine. It was rain rain rain around here.
So now, as I am finally starting to feel better, I need to get my fight back. Even though, in my heart, I know I did the best I could the last couple months, I feel like I lost time. And, my attitude, before getting sick, was so strong and focused! I'm honestly scared I won't get that fortitude back. I haven't started exercising again; I really want to try this week but I have a feeling it will be like starting all over! Uggghhh. Mentally, I realize that if I can't do everything I did before, it's no big deal. I'll build back up. I also know I can grab my inhaler if I have trouble breathing. But see, I get aggravated that I came so far and now I'm backwards. I know how much weight I should have/could have lost by now and I haven't. I didn't care about that when I was sick but I do now. At the same time, I also don't have the strength that I had before I got sick either. I don't have the will power or the sheer drive. See the paradox?
I do want the drive though and that counts for something, right? Here's an interesting fact: I told someone recently to laugh, a good hard fake laugh, over and over, until they smiled for real. Usually, when I do this, I will really end up smiling or laughing at myself. It may sound crazy but it helps when I'm down. Tonight a friend told me I might have to fake my attitude about this "fit before forty" for awhile until the positive attitude comes back! Huh! OK. Here I go...
Step 1. I will go back and read my own blog entries from the beginning. Maybe I will find encouragement from my own words and be reminded of my purpose!
Step 2. I will go to the grocery tomorrow get some of my favorite fresh fruits as a treat!
Step 3. I will load my purse back up with skinny chick treats.
Step 4. I will write down what I eat each day.
